“Through the Lord’s
mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new
every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my
soul, ‘Therefore I hope in Him!’ The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to
the soul that seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for
the salvation of the Lord.” (Lamentations 3:22-26)
I praise God for His unfailing mercy and love towards me these
last few weeks. This month, I got an especially good look at myself when I
stand outside the shadow of the Cross; and I, once again, see how much of a
hopeless case I am without Him. It’s seriously probably the most shameful and
embarrassing thing ever. Our God amazes me!
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| My beloved Eunice. One of the best big sisters in the Lord I've ever known. |
In the midst of March’s fresh set of miracles and
overwhelming dosage of laughter, the Enemy came in for an attack on Christina’s
spirit this month. He came in where I am most vulnerable: the mind. Through
little whispered lies and slow-forming thought patterns he brought me to a
point of complete self-reliance and comfort in my iniquity. Mind you, from the
outside, my life was “on target”- the Enemy made sure of that. I don’t believe
I would have battled so far down on his level if there was any blatant sin that
stood between me and God. No, rather he decided to push me to the point of
doubt.
Doubt that my God was able and willing to do what He said He
would do.
Yet the battle was finished before it started. You see, even
though I was punched around a few times, allowing Satan to get a few good
“hits” on me because of my lack of diligence to seek God’s face; I had a
Greater Power on my side. The sacrifice Jesus Christ made for me, the blood
that He shed, became the only thing I could run to and rest in. Even though I
initially chose my way and my will, anytime I surrendered back into
the loving arms of Jesus, I knew I was SAFE.
Julie Andrews’ line in Sound
of Music: “Tomorrow’s a fresh day with no mistakes in it” became my
catchphrase for the month. I love that so much. Think about it: God hands us a
completely brand-new day tomorrow and allows us to do whatever we want in it.
How crazy. How merciful. What love!
And to think He chooses to walk with us step-by-step, giving
us constant opportunity to know and love Him more. We walk together as dear
friends- the creature and the Creator- a relationship only possible by the
victory of Jesus’ death at Calvary. As I type this, I’m shaking my head at
disbelief that He would choose me. He did it on purpose you know. He picked me out; He picked you out. Dude, let’s live our lives in light of that!
“Who shall bring a
charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It
is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right
hand of God, who also makes intercession for us…that the purpose of God
according to the election might stand, not of works but of Him who calls. So
then, it is not of him who wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows
mercy.” (Romans 8:33-34; 9:11; 16)
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free! (See
Galatians 5:1) The struggles and confusion I battled with this month drew me
closer and closer to the Cross, and an acute realization that I need it so
desperately. Once that freedom was “realized” and decided upon in my heart, I
couldn’t stay in the mud of myself any longer…I needed to move on the FREEDOM
Christ granted His beloved. Therefore, even though I made war this month in my heart and mind, I experienced great
freedom and joy on the “other side.” And by God’s grace, I will choose to
commit to walk in that freedom.
{Ahhhhhh, I love seeing in writing what God’s been showing
me. It’s seriously so much fun to write these blog entries- I almost feel like
I’m sharing God and I’s “little secrets” with you all, and I get a little bit
giddy doing it…}
There’s SO much more I want to share and write about, but I
don’t have enough time right now. So here are some random thoughts/highlights/plans/reports that I think you might want to hear:
~ I’m coming back to Taiwan next year! Through the Lord’s
leading and my parents’ counsel, I see God directing me back this way. Kinmen
is so dear to my heart and I love my team so I’m extremely excited! ~ The only thing holding me back from
unquestionably coming back here was my parent’s desire to work in ministry in
Haiti. God may be opening some doors in that respect and I would LOVE to be a
part of that. ~ I just found out that one of my really good friends from the
States, Caris, has been accepted into this TESOL program. She probably won’t be
stationed with me, but I’m so happy she’s going to be on the TESOL team. ~
Eunice, Johnny, and Bethany W. from my team have all decided to come back to
Kinmen for another year as well!! My good friend Rebekah from the Yuli team in
Taiwan has also decided to stay on and I’m totally elated about that… ~ We had
another Swing Dance Fundraiser here in Jingmen on March 24th. Our
demographic this time was mainly university students; in my mind, that made it
so much more fun and interesting. Those uni students make everything great and
I love them so much. People from other TESOL teams came out to visit us and
help out so I was totally blessed that entire weekend. ~ As of recently, Johnny
and I have been feeling like the Lord wants us to keep these fundraisers
Jesus/ministry focused. We had some opportunities this last month to plug in
with the Taiwanese government, but we’ve decided against it for now because we
want this ministry to build people up in the Kingdom of God- not just be a
charity event. ~ I found out that I may not be able to come back to the States
on furlough until mid-/late July. Sad face. Also, please be praying that my
parents/sister will have the opportunity to come out to visit me this year. I
want them to meet my current team so bad, but it’s slightly expensive. Lol.
Lord’s will be done. ~ Lastly, please pray that I will commit to discipline
myself! For goodness’ sake, it’s ridiculous the goals that I’ve put off and
rescheduled already this semester. Mainly being my desire to read through the
Gospel of John in Chinese before I go home for the summer….I need to get on it
and work harder! Haha, so yes, I could use your prayers very muchly so!
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| This is Rebekah and I's relationship epitomized in all its glory. ;) |
Thank you all again for your prayers and encouragement and
notes and letters and awesomeness!! My eyes are burning as I think of each one
of you saints who have been my support through prayer and words of affirmation
this last year- thank you so much! I literally owe you the world. Prayer does
so much more than you realize. <3
“Since mine eyes were fixed on Jesus,
I've lost sight of all beside—
So enchained my spirit's vision,
Looking at the Crucified.
All for Jesus!
All for Jesus!
Looking at the
Crucified.
All for Jesus!
All for Jesus!
Looking at the
Crucified.
“Oh, what wonder! how amazing!
Jesus, glorious King of kings,
Deigns to call me His beloved,
Lets me rest beneath His wings.
All for Jesus!
All for Jesus!
Resting now
beneath His wings.
All for Jesus!
All for Jesus!
Resting now beneath His wings.”
(All For Jesus; Mary Dagworthy James)
