My God is Calm in the Storm

“Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘Therefore I hope in Him!’ The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul that seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.” (Lamentations 3:22-26)

I praise God for His unfailing mercy and love towards me these last few weeks. This month, I got an especially good look at myself when I stand outside the shadow of the Cross; and I, once again, see how much of a hopeless case I am without Him. It’s seriously probably the most shameful and embarrassing thing ever. Our God amazes me!

My beloved Eunice. One of the best
big sisters in the Lord I've
ever known.

In the midst of March’s fresh set of miracles and overwhelming dosage of laughter, the Enemy came in for an attack on Christina’s spirit this month. He came in where I am most vulnerable: the mind. Through little whispered lies and slow-forming thought patterns he brought me to a point of complete self-reliance and comfort in my iniquity. Mind you, from the outside, my life was “on target”- the Enemy made sure of that. I don’t believe I would have battled so far down on his level if there was any blatant sin that stood between me and God. No, rather he decided to push me to the point of doubt.

Doubt that my God was able and willing to do what He said He would do.

Yet the battle was finished before it started. You see, even though I was punched around a few times, allowing Satan to get a few good “hits” on me because of my lack of diligence to seek God’s face; I had a Greater Power on my side. The sacrifice Jesus Christ made for me, the blood that He shed, became the only thing I could run to and rest in. Even though I initially chose my way and my will, anytime I surrendered back into the loving arms of Jesus, I knew I was SAFE.

Julie Andrews’ line in Sound of Music: “Tomorrow’s a fresh day with no mistakes in it” became my catchphrase for the month. I love that so much. Think about it: God hands us a completely brand-new day tomorrow and allows us to do whatever we want in it. How crazy. How merciful. What love!

And to think He chooses to walk with us step-by-step, giving us constant opportunity to know and love Him more. We walk together as dear friends- the creature and the Creator- a relationship only possible by the victory of Jesus’ death at Calvary. As I type this, I’m shaking my head at disbelief that He would choose me. He did it on purpose you know. He picked me out; He picked you out. Dude, let’s live our lives in light of that!

“Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us…that the purpose of God according to the election might stand, not of works but of Him who calls. So then, it is not of him who wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows mercy.” (Romans 8:33-34; 9:11; 16)

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free! (See Galatians 5:1) The struggles and confusion I battled with this month drew me closer and closer to the Cross, and an acute realization that I need it so desperately. Once that freedom was “realized” and decided upon in my heart, I couldn’t stay in the mud of myself any longer…I needed to move on the FREEDOM Christ granted His beloved. Therefore, even though I made war this month in my heart and mind, I experienced great freedom and joy on the “other side.” And by God’s grace, I will choose to commit to walk in that freedom.

{Ahhhhhh, I love seeing in writing what God’s been showing me. It’s seriously so much fun to write these blog entries- I almost feel like I’m sharing God and I’s “little secrets” with you all, and I get a little bit giddy doing it…} 

There’s SO much more I want to share and write about, but I don’t have enough time right now. So here are some random thoughts/highlights/plans/reports that I think you might want to hear:

~ I’m coming back to Taiwan next year! Through the Lord’s leading and my parents’ counsel, I see God directing me back this way. Kinmen is so dear to my heart and I love my team so I’m extremely excited! ~ The only thing holding me back from unquestionably coming back here was my parent’s desire to work in ministry in Haiti. God may be opening some doors in that respect and I would LOVE to be a part of that. ~ I just found out that one of my really good friends from the States, Caris, has been accepted into this TESOL program. She probably won’t be stationed with me, but I’m so happy she’s going to be on the TESOL team. ~ Eunice, Johnny, and Bethany W. from my team have all decided to come back to Kinmen for another year as well!! My good friend Rebekah from the Yuli team in Taiwan has also decided to stay on and I’m totally elated about that… ~ We had another Swing Dance Fundraiser here in Jingmen on March 24^th. Our demographic this time was mainly university students; in my mind, that made it so much more fun and interesting. Those uni students make everything great and I love them so much. People from other TESOL teams came out to visit us and help out so I was totally blessed that entire weekend. ~ As of recently, Johnny and I have been feeling like the Lord wants us to keep these fundraisers Jesus/ministry focused. We had some opportunities this last month to plug in with the Taiwanese government, but we’ve decided against it for now because we want this ministry to build people up in the Kingdom of God- not just be a charity event. ~ I found out that I may not be able to come back to the States on furlough until mid-/late July. Sad face. Also, please be praying that my parents/sister will have the opportunity to come out to visit me this year. I want them to meet my current team so bad, but it’s slightly expensive. Lol. Lord’s will be done. ~ Lastly, please pray that I will commit to discipline myself! For goodness’ sake, it’s ridiculous the goals that I’ve put off and rescheduled already this semester. Mainly being my desire to read through the Gospel of John in Chinese before I go home for the summer….I need to get on it and work harder! Haha, so yes, I could use your prayers very muchly so!

This is Rebekah and I's relationship epitomized
 in all its glory. ;)

Thank you all again for your prayers and encouragement and notes and letters and awesomeness!! My eyes are burning as I think of each one of you saints who have been my support through prayer and words of affirmation this last year- thank you so much! I literally owe you the world. Prayer does so much more than you realize. <3

“Since mine eyes were fixed on Jesus,

I've lost sight of all beside—

So enchained my spirit's vision,

Looking at the Crucified.

  All for Jesus! All for Jesus!

  Looking at the Crucified.

  All for Jesus! All for Jesus!

  Looking at the Crucified.

“Oh, what wonder! how amazing!

Jesus, glorious King of kings,

Deigns to call me His beloved,

Lets me rest beneath His wings.

  All for Jesus! All for Jesus!

  Resting now beneath His wings.

  All for Jesus! All for Jesus!

  Resting now beneath His wings.”

   (All For Jesus; Mary Dagworthy James)

My February

Time has sped up like crazy. I feel like I'm on the downhill stretch of the year and I don't know what to do about it to keep up. Everything about life right now feels "fast" and I’m constantly reminded that every day I have here in Kinmen holds, not only purpose, but a sense of urgency. In my recent studies through 1st Corinthians and the Gospels, the Lord's been connecting some amazing concepts in my heart and mind- so many things are starting to make sense that never were completely clear. With the "connections" my heart has made, my life has obtained a sense of urgency like never before.

"But of the day and hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, or the Son, but only the Father. Take heed, watch and pray; for you do not know when the time is. It is like a man going to a far country, who left his house and gave authority to his servants, and to each his work, and commanded the doorkeeper to watch. Watch therefore, for you do not know when the master of the house is coming- in the evening, at midnight, at the crowing of the rooster, or in the morning- lest, coming suddenly, he find you sleeping And what I say to you, I say to all: Watch!" (Mark 13:32-37)

Some of my good friends from the Pingtung and Chiayi teams.

My dreams and desires have begun to go through transformation in this last month as well. As I wrote before, my heart ached in Thailand at the spiritual depravity and oppression of the Enemy in the lives of the people in that country. Because of the spiritual hold He has in the lives of the people, much more evil is accepted and allowed than would be allowed in other parts of the world. Take for instance, the sex trafficking issue. Thailand is the capital of the world for sex tourism, with millions of women and children trapped in slavery- having no way of escape and living in horrifying conditions. I’ve been seeking the Lord as of recently about what I can do to fight this major issue. Christine Cain’s words from the Passion 2012 conference constantly rings in my ears: “Not on my watch!” I want to be able to look back on my life and know I did something about this…not just sat back comfortably in my educational pursuits and dreams of a comfortable, classic little American life. Things I’ve always wanted and dreamed about since I was a little girl seem so frivolous in comparison to being a part of the saving of millions of little girls in Thailand (and all over the world), who are being raped repeatedly every day. What wouldn’t I do if these were my little sisters!? I don’t want to excuse this issue as a statistic and continue onward with my life. Jesus wouldn’t. I won’t.

BREATHTAKING beach in South Taiwan.

Therefore, I’ve been praying about the Lord sending me out to that part of the world sometime in the future. I’m not sure how or when or by what means, but I’m confident, the Lord will guide me step-by-step and I’m confident that He will show me His plans in His perfect timing. It’s a scary thought, but I want to GO while I can because I’m free to really do anything at this point in my life. It’s just me and Jesus…please be praying that my next step is clear and my mind doesn’t get clouded with my own desires…as the Enemy hates who I am and what I stand for daily. I’m not sure what my future holds, but I’m so thankful that the Holy Spirit is always there to direct me step-by-step. My heart has always been for PEOPLE and their relationships with the Lord, so I’m confident wherever the Lord sends me I will enjoy and “flourish in.”

Making our outdoor banner for
the fundraiser.

So what have I been doing as of recently in light of all this? Well, my team pulled off a Swing Dance Fundraiser in the community…raising money for Destiny Rescue (the organization we met missionaries from in Thailand), and, more importantly, making people aware of this global crisis. About 60 people showed up to this event that my team pulled off in a six-day time span. Personally, I was completely blown away as I watch an insane amount of miracles unfold throughout the week to allow it to unfold so smoothly. It made me so thankful to be on this island “for such a time as this.” God literally is so cool. So so cool.

As we continue to be sensitive to the Lord’s leading, my team is planning two more fundraisers in Jingchung, Jingmen, and another in Hualian, Taiwan for the months of March and April. Lord willing, these opportunities will open up and we will be able to reach the people of Taiwan with the message of this cause. Please be praying that the Lord’s will is done and that all of this will be focused on the glory of His name alone. We’re praying for direction in this area as the Lord may be “expanding our borders” to reach more people with the message of this cause, and inevitably, the Gospel.

“And the apostles said to the Lord, ‘Increase our faith.’ So the Lord said, ‘If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, “Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea,” and it would obey you. And which of you, having a servant plowing or tending sheep, will say to him when he has come in from the field, “Come at once and sit down to eat”? But will he not rather say to him, “Prepare something for my supper, and gird yourself and serve me till I have eaten and drunk, and afterward you will eat and drink”? Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I think not. So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, “We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do.”’” (Luke 17:5-10)

Chinese New Year 2012

Well, this last month and a half has probably been one of the busiest time in my service here in Southeast Asia. God is so good and has constantly brought me back to Him and who He is in my life. More than ever before, I have been constantly reminded how much I need Him and how I can do absolutely nothing without His Sovereign power and direction every moment of every day.

I can’t stress enough that your prayers WORK…my parents are always sharing with me how so many people share with them how they are praying for me and the ministry. I am 100% positive that without your prayers, much (if not all) of the chances I’ve had to share Jesus and His love with the people around me wouldn’t have been possible. Thank you all so very much.

Anyways, I’m going to try to recap my travels and adventures from my first Chinese New Year vacation. Hopefully this will be a blessing and encouragement for you to read what God’s been doing in my life and in the ministry on this side of the world. I divided this (extremely lengthy and long overdue) blog post trip-by-trip so it’s easier to read by section if you’d like. Enjoy!


Some of the cutest boys alive

BO CUN TRIP
Starting with my trip over New Year’s (like the January 1^st, “Western New Year’s” kind…) with Bo Cun’s 6^th grade class: Each one of my six grade classes plan a class trip that they go on together as sort of a memorable marking point before all the students head out to Junior High the next year. The class I chose to go with is quite possibly one of my favorite 6^th grade classes as a whole. The students are so sweet and I love my principal and co-teacher from that school. J

We spent the 4-day trip travelling (virtually) all over the West side of Taiwan; from Taichung to Nantou to Kaohsiung- and everywhere in between. I saw some breathtaking mountain peaks, and of course the pretty spectacular Sun Moon Lake. For New Year’s Eve, I left my class for the evening and spent some time with dear friends from another IBLP TESOL team in Nantou and then took the HSR (High Speed Rail) back the next morning to catch up with my class.

This trip, though tons of fun and full of adventure, was pretty hard for me though. It was the first time I was away from my Kinmen team and with Chinese-only speakers since I’ve been here in Taiwan. On top of feeling “homesick,” some of the parents from my class had a hard time with the idea of me not speaking Chinese conversationally yet. The first night, I just sat in my hotel room and cried before the Lord in utter frustration. I felt very alone and rejected and just wanted to go home.

Before I left for this weekend trip, my dad had told me to keep John 14-16 in mind- reminding me that I could not do ANYTHING on my own and I needed (need) the Lord to guide my every step. So, after talking to the Lord for a while and re-composing myself, I pulled out my Bible and read that passage over and over again. The Holy Spirit spoke to me that night. I re-realized all I am required as a daughter of the King is remain in His love. There is no other requirement for my personal walk with Jesus. As I keep my eyes focused on Him and diligently seek for His hand in my life, He will provide my every need and orchestrate my every step. He could even teach me Chinese if He wanted to. From that moment on, I committed my language proficiency to the Lord- I am going to work as hard as I can, and leave the results up to Him and His will and plan. In this area, and in all others: I only need to ask…ask like a child. Trust like a child. Enjoy life as a child. Isn’t our God so cool?

“If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given you…As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in My love…You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit – fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.” (John 15:7, 9, 16)

THAILAND

Sunrise over the mountains

The next couple weeks after that weekend with my class, my team and I prepared for our King Car Visa renewal trip to Thailand. Lesson planning and packing pretty much consumed our time, especially the last couple days leading up to our departure. (This trip was completely paid for by the King Car Foundation we work for in Taiwan, which was such a huge blessing.) The group consisted of the teams from Kinmen, Yuli, Pingdong, and then a few members joined us from Nantou [All in all, SUCH a great group of people]. Tuesday-Saturday we taught English classes for the 1^st-12^th grades in Da Tong, Thailand. In our touring time, we got to see the Golden Triangle, White Temple, explore a pretty big day market in Chiang Rai, spend about an hour on the other side of the border in Myanmar, spend time at a convent school for Thai girls, play with a monkey, launch lanterns for Chinese New Year, and so much more memorable moments that I couldn’t even start to type out. (Just look through my bazillion Facebook pictures if you get the chance…ok?)

This trip was a super great opportunity for me to get out of my comfort zone and share the Gospel. On the flight from Bangkok to Chiang Rai, I was able to talk about the Lord with the man I was sitting next to. We talked almost the whole flight. The man was a Buddhist, and believed very strongly in Buddhism’s “Middle Path,” yet was very interested in both sharing his beliefs and listening to mine. It was such a Divine appointment. Be praying for Mr. Vincent.

Also, because Chinese wasn’t the first language of the kids I worked with, my pride got to have a break from the beat-down it normally has and I was able to actually communicate outside of class for a change. ;) The kids were amazing- all the way up to my 9^th grade class. For the most part, I felt so welcomed and loved by each one of them and just plain had fun spending time with them.

Yet, spiritually, the warfare started off with a bang that week at the “Welcome Party” for us foreign teachers. Some of the girls from 4^th-9^th grade put together a performance with several dances…let’s just say the dancing was shocking and painful to watch. It hurt me so much to see such little girls dancing so sensually- I know I can speak for our entire TESOL team by saying our spirits were grieved and put on guard by such a performance. The Kinmen team met as a group the next night and brought the little girls, their families, and futures before the Lord.

Then, personally, I went on hyper-drive mode as far as seeking the Lord’s will for next year’s plans….I loved Thailand from the first moment we landed, being struck by the need of the people in the area in which we worked. Mid-week, we ran into some missionaries that literally worked in the middle of the fight against Thailand’s sex trafficking industry; I can’t tell you how much I wanted to go with them. In hearing the missionaries’ stories about the girls, and the different rescues they were currently running, my heart ached and I quietly pleaded with God to someday allow me to join in this battle.

So, needless to say, midweek in Da Tong, I was praying very hard for the Lord to give me direction and a heart for where He wanted me. I want to spend my life in ministry where there is NEED- a need for real rescue and salvation- a place screaming for light. I prayed and spent time in the Word for hours on end, seeking God for direction and praying that He would show Himself real in my life. It was only when my heart got to the point of being totally willing to go where and when the Lord sent me, that I began having peace again. Ministry ideas for this semester in Kinmen to help fight the more local sex trafficking industry started coming to mind and I set a few personal goals for the semester. It was so freeing to have the Lord show me how I was inside His will and then give me ways I can be “useful in the Master’s hand” this semester.

Some of my personal goals for Spring 2012 in Kinmen:

1)     Read through the Gospel of John in Chinese

2)     Read “Case for Christ” (Lee Strobel)

3)     Set aside a minimum of 10 minutes a day to study Chinese

4)     Make intimate time with Jesus priority- both in prayer and study

5)     Stay on top of monthly blog updates

{My team and I are in prayer about a few fundraisers and awareness projects to support ministries on the front lines of the fight against sex trafficking. We’re hoping to involve the entire island of Kinmen with each of these events. Please be praying that God’s will be done with every project. Our goal is to bring ultimate glory to the name of Jesus by protecting those who cannot protect themselves. I will keep you updated with how God guides.}

TAIPEI WINTER CAMPS

Finally, to finish up our New Year vacation, we worked this last week in a Taipei Winter camp with King Car. Our “camp team” consisted of our Kinmen group, plus Caitlin (from the Yuli team), and Kelsey (BWills’ younger sister). We had 60+ kids come from mainly the Taipei area for a 5-day camp that had us up at 7:30am and down usually around midnight. It was exhausting but SO well worth it.

I worked with a middle level group- Team D: The Daring Dragons. Ironically, even though we had the manliest name and team chant, I was placed with several of the girliest girls in the entire camp. It was a blast, lol. Kelsey and I worked as co-teachers with our TA, Jenny, helping us all along. Our topic for the week was current world issues and what we can do as individuals to help. We danced the “Waka Waka” and Justin Beiber’s “Baby Baby” song almost daily for fun and did tons of skits, games, stories, and songs with the kids…basically just loving on them. Kelsey got to share the Gospel with the students as we studied Europe and the song “Amazing Grace” one morning. She was able to explain the concept of sin, grace, and the mercy of God. (Kelsey shared that during English class, get that: in class. It’s pretty wild the freedom we have in Taiwan as foreign teachers to share the Gospel with kids in our English classes.)

Midweek, (again, lol) the Lord knocked on my heart and set me in a tailspin because I was (still) so comfortable doing things my way. There was (is) a need for someone to go to help out another one of the TESOL teams for this next semester and the Kinmen girls were asked if anyone would be willing to go. When I first got the email, I laughed and thought how ridiculous it would be if God sent me somewhere else for the semester. Almost as soon as I mentally made my decision to say “no,” the Lord asked me why.

Why was I so unwilling to think that He could possibly take me out of my comfort zone yet again and bring me somewhere else? So for the second time this month, I prayed and sought counsel and sought the Lord about if He wanted me to move from Kinmen. And similar to my “prayer battle” in Thailand, as soon as I was willing to be obedient and pay attention to the Lord’s gentle leading, my peace returned and He reminded me of His heart for my life. A life that is continually plugged into Him, a life that only wants His will, and a life that will jump when He says “go.” Lord willing, I’m going to be staying in Kinmen this next semester and am going to try to actually wait and listen for His guidance.

“I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” (Genesis 28:15)

If it’s ok with you, I would like to end this update with a quick personal prayer- thanking Jesus for Who He is and what He’s doing:

Heavenly Father, thank you so much for my brothers and sisters in Christ all over this world. It just amazes me to see Your hand everywhere I go and I just want to tell you thank you. Thank you for the people I work with and for. Thank you for the children that I get to pour into daily. Thank you for the work You’re doing in my heart to make me the woman you want me to be. I pray that each one of us will never lose sight of YOU and Your marvelous mercy and love. You are so holy Jesus and I thank you that You are not finished with me yet and have great things in store for this next year. This time in Taiwan is dedicated to You. Greater things are still to come. I thank You and praise You. In Your holy name, Amen.

Reflections: Mary and Joseph

The following is a prayer and a few thoughts that I wrote out to the Lord while waiting to teach in one of my classes. The story of Jesus’ birth has never hit me in such an impactful way like it has in the last few weeks, and the Holy Spirit used the faith of Mary and Joseph to totally redirect my focus and emotions concerning the will of God for my life. This is straight from my prayer journal, and I want to share it with you.

“I want to leave a faith story behind me. [Check out Joshua 4:1-9] Sometimes I want so desperately to know what Your plan is for me, but I realize that I will never know faith until I have the chance to test it and grow in it. I want to be able to look back and say, “I trusted God with this situation and He did this.” I want to have a testimony in the end of His grace, goodness, and love.

Taipei with some of the "fam bam."

“Mary had no idea what was going to happen to her when she stepped by faith into the calling the angel had for her. She had no clue what was to happen to her. She just knew she was stopped in her tracks and re-directed another way. It could have meant death. It could have meant a life alone and rejected. But instead, You had a plan of LIFE; yes, hard work, but LIFE and GLORY.

“And Joseph! He must have felt as if he was pulled into a plan that was not his own. It must have been hard to think of this turn of events as God’s plan and not “Mary’s fault.” That man must’ve known his God. He must have had to think and CHOOSE to stand by his betrothed- the woman he chose to make him happy- no matter what. He had no clue what his future held. All he knew at that point was that his reputation would never be the same. He was willing to lay down who he was for God’s glory and out of obedience.

“God, You knew. Even this(!!!): Joseph never saw Your ultimate fulfillment of Your plan for Jesus. He must have constantly doubted as it seemed that Jesus just grew to be a good, well-respected man. He probably wondered if all that was even worth it. And Mary! She was obedient all her life to the hand and will of God and then her Son is CRUCIFIED as a low-class criminal. She must have felt like dirt….I know I would. How heartbreaking for a mother.

View from the Taipei IBLP Office.

“BUT, You were directing things outside of their heartbreak and confusion. Plans SO MUCH bigger than either of them could have imagined. They never saw the fulfillment of this glory and ultimate plan…but it happened anyways. Because this man and this woman were willing to do all and anything God asked of them- with no reservations- the plight of ALL MANKIND was (and is) forever changed.

“…Mary probably never saw the fulfillment of her obedience. Joseph definitely never did. Yet they obeyed.

“So…what am I willing to do? Am I willing to simply obey day-by-day; not asking questions because even Mary did not see the fulfillment of the promise? Abraham didn’t see the full impact of his obedience. Moses didn’t. Noah didn’t…ish. These people trusted and obeyed throughout their lives but never received the complete fulfillment of the promise made to them by the Lord. They had no idea their obedience would echo so high and far throughout generations and ages. Therefore, who am I to question You!? Who am I to “seek and find” Your plan and will instead of Your heart? That’s not right or fair. Shouldn’t I just follow and love? You always show me and give me exactly what I’ll need- never too early or too late. You reveal in Your perfect timing, and You don’t reveal in your perfect timing.

“Step by step I am led. You hold things back until your plan is ready to be carried out in my life. You reveal when Your plan is ready.

“Teach me Your ways, oh Lord. You are so good. Thank you. Amen.” (12/13/2011)

“Then Mary said, ‘Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.’ And the angel departed from her.” (Luke 1:38)

Ninteenth birthday dinner at Chili's
in Taipei.

Dear You,

Wow, there are so many people I would like to sit down with right now and share the following random things that have been on my heart. Sigh. I guess this "mass letter" to you all will have to suffice... So much to tell...not enough time.

Lol, this was Day 1 of being sick at school. I had to wear one
of these annoying things

First of all, thank you to all those who prayed for me throughout that sickness a couple weeks back. It turned out being an upper chest/throat viral infection that escalated to a way worse problem than it should have ever been. After day four of the progressively worsening fever and congestion, some dear friends took me into the Emergency Room where I was on IV for the duration of the day. 'Twas no fun, but knowing people were praying for me was enough to remind me that I was loved and helped me stay somewhat sane. Thank you: our God always answers prayer in His timing and according to His perfect will. :)

My beloved Jingmen family and our Thanksgiving feast.

The university Christmas event is happening next week! The plan is to have a "Christmas bazaar" for the first hour, then the Nativity story shared in drama form, the Gospel presented by our pastor, and then finishing the night up with caroling around the campus. I've taken responsibility to head it up and organize the details so please be praying for both diligence and flexibility for me. During this season, I tend to get so easily distracted with "busy work" that isn't the ultimate best use of my time and, not only that, I also tend to be quite the perfectionist. This combination definitely has the potential to keep me away from glorifying the Lord with the time I have.

Also, next week is the IBLP TESOL Christmas retreat in Taipei! It should be an awesome time of fun and fellowship with the other teams in Taiwan. Can't believe we're celebrating Christmas again already! I heard as you get older, the years go by faster and faster.....I think I'm actually starting to believe that now. C'est la vie, mais 生活是美好的。<-- Hope Google Translate hasn't failed me with that last part. ;)

Jake: One of my absolute favorites.

I don't quite know what I want to do with my life next year- whether to stay here in Jingmen, or go back to the States, or go somewhere else, or study, or not study, or intern somewhere, or not...etc. This is something I've thought about quite intensively the last couple weeks and I have decided to make no decision in this area for a while. Lol. It's really hard not to be swayed by those I love at home...or those I love here. I want my life to be guided by my Heavenly Father's leading, not by the desires of others or my own. This is something that would be awesome to get some prayer for. I feel urgency to come to some kind of conclusion in the near future; and I want to have God's perfect will and not get in the way.

On that note, its been a roller coaster of emotions as of recently as far as missing my family, friends, and the community back home. I think with Thanksgiving barely past and Christmas coming up, the desire to be home with my family during this season becomes sharper and more acute. I hate the fact that I'm missing my brothers and sisters growing up and I so desperately don't want to drop out of many people' lives. I know members of my team are dealing with the same thing so if you have the time and think of it, it would be a blessing to know that you're also praying for us in this area.

Adorable Debra. I love 1st Grade!

Lastly, I couldn't finish a prayer update without mentioning my conquering of the Mandarin obstacle. It's definitely a challenge because of the necessary investion of time and effort to show progress. When I hear about past Jingmen team members who have grasped this language within a year, I feel discouraged and inadequate and I know this is something that is going to require both the Lord's wisdom and His grace. Remember way back at the beginning of this letter, when I asked for you to pray for me for diligence and flexibility? Those character traits would be helpful here too... ;) 

I apologize for the random spattering of prayer requests and updates....pray all is well with you all and that you are blessed as you prepare to celebrate the birth of our Lord.

Many blessings and much love,
Christina

I love these kids. The boy with the intense makeup is Green.
He had just finished his big dance performance...and for
that reason you can guess how much I love him<3

These are a few of my favorite things...

These are some of the best things in my life right now:

1. I love my Jesus. His love and companionship has grown sweeter every day and I'm so thankful for the privilege I have to get to know the Creator of the Universe in such an intimate way. The little blessings the Holy Spirit allows me to see in my life makes me feel loved all the way to my toes. I'm learning so much about how to walk day by day in His presence, and listen to His voice always.
   
2. I love laughter. I get a good dose of it everyday between my hilarious teammates and antics of my students. A few mornings ago, my teammate Johnny came army crawling into our living room shooting everyone with a water gun. Sound effects and all. Haha I am so blessed in this department.
3. I love learning. My word! I literally learn at least 15-20 new things a day. Whether it'd be Chinese vocabulary, cultural structures, or better teaching style- there's not a day that goes by without me learning more than enough to satisfy this mind.
   
4. I love my friends. Friends back in the States who still make an effort to keep up with me and keep me up to date on news from home, and new friends here who always manage to make my life vibrant. You guys keep me alive and sane.
5. I love my family. Even when I don't get the chance to talk to them for a week or so at a time, I always feel "in the middle of things" when we Skype. I love my parents' relationship- how they're such a stellar example of sacrifice and living by faith. I love how my siblings are my bestest of best friends and that everything reminds me of them. Kaylee's random sense of humor and drive to serve Jesus. Richie's essence of awesomeness. Kiara's delight in life itself. Corinna's consistent emails about everything on her mind. Ryan's laugh and smile and hair and adorableness. Carissa's need to dominate every conversation I've had with her. Gahh I love these people.
6. I love thoughtfulness. The culture here always tries to look out for the interest of the other person. People will randomly buy me drinks, make every effort to make me comfortable, and welcome me into their life. For example, I came back from teaching and have a Ferrero Rocher sitting on my desk. I think Americans should take a hint or two...or three.
7. I love riding my bike downhill. Random, I know, but I really do love that feeling. 
8. I love the food here. And the fact that I have this "chopstick thing" down. 
9. I love the fruit and vegetable stands here. So cheap and fresh from the orchard/garden. Puts Publix to shame.
10. Bubble Milk Tea. Passionfruit Green Tea. Need I say more?
11. I love how it's early(ish) November and I get to dress warm. Unlike Florida....all my life.
12. I love adventure. Ok, so last Saturday, Peter, Johnny, and I biked around the entire island of Jingmen. 35.6 miles of sheer awesomeness. Including dinner afterwards and all the pit stops along the way, it took us about 8 hours. We discovered new beaches, awesome playgrounds, and tons of different military towers. So much fun. Those guys are awesome.
13. I love plans to look forward to. This Friday, we're thinking of heading to Yuli for the weekend. Next week's Thanksgiving. Then we have the IBLP Christmas retreat, my birthday (of course), the King Car Winter Reunion, Christmas, New Year's tour around Taiwan with one of my favorite 6th grade classes, Thailand for 3 weeks {!!!}, and the list could go on and on. On top of all those BIG plans, there are a million and one fun things going on every day/week. Never a dull moment. :) 
14. I love responsibility. I love being on my own- fending for myself day by day and making my own decisions. It's just me and Jesus "knockin' about in the wild" and I truly enjoy it. Mostly. ;)
15. Lastly, I love memories. I love looking back on my life and seeing the fingerprints of God and His grace. I love laughing about the things "my family always does" or "my friends always say." That constantly is making me smile and I <3 it.

God is good all the time. And all the time, God is good. I'm going to try to make a list like this weekly...

Less Than Nothing

It's funny what happens when my pride is put aside. I see myself for the filth I am when all my disobedience and iniquity is completely bare before the Lord. I see the truth. Without Christ, I am truly less than nothing.

I hope and pray this doesn't come across as a depressing post- I definitely don't mean it to be. I'm just getting another glimps of who I am in light and comparison to our Heavenly Father:

The Thanksgiving decor I put together for our living room

"I will betroth you to Me forever; yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in lovingkindness and mercy; I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, and you shall know the Lord." (Hosea 2:19-20)

Guys, this is after Israel had wandered away from the Lord. After this nation had committed harlotry with other nations. After the people had forsaken God- the same God who had been unwaveringly faithful to His people. This is craziness. Our God is so faithful. He's always true to His promises. He never has and never will let us down. All He asks of His children is that we walk according to His ways. That we wholeheartedly obey Him from a willing heart in everything set before us.

Last night, I had a pretty intense and in-depth conversation with some of my teammates about discerning the Lord's will in the area of relationships. I left that conversation very frustrated and confused and went to bed annoyed. I agreed with everything that was said, but I couldn't reconcile it with the choices I've made in the past that were "inside the Lord's will." Frankly, I wasn't sure if God suddenly had a double standard, so I was determined to figure it out.

Within two seconds of asking the Lord what was up, I was reminded pretty strongly of my PRIDE. The reason I didn't understand and couldn't recognize the Lord's hand in some parts of the past is because it wasn't there. Don't misunderstand me-He was there- I just wasn't willing to take that hand and follow it. I was so set on having my way, that, even though I begged the Lord to take certain things away and "make all things new," I was still gripping the things I didn't want Him to touch.

Ajung: My little 3yr old tutoree. :)

C'est ma vie. Basically, I'm realizing all over again how much I need Jesus and how short I fall from His standard. Even sometimes when my heart wants so much to be inside the will of the Lord, I still force my own way. Don't ask me why. I don't know why either. But I'm learning the voice of the Lord- I pray someday I will learn to listen and obey. That would be such an awesome thing to not have to look back with even the slightest twinge of regret.

Jesus makes all things beautiful in HIS timing, and works "all things together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). I choose to rest on that today.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end." (Ecclesiastes 3:11)